Lost In Beauty-

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Looking for a cool stylish shirt to proclaim the name of our Saviour? Check out www.jesusbranded.com for fashionable and unique bold designs! Let us be proud of what we wear, and be bold to give all glory to Jesus, who is altogether lovely!

the beauty exposed ;

Thursday, August 21, 2008

So much has happened in the past few months. And what can I say? Circumstances may change, moods even more so, but one thing is for certain. His love for me was demonstrated not based on my circumstances, but based on his death and resurrection at the cross. Daddy God has been so faithful to His promises. I find myself astounded time and time again, at His tender mercies and loving kindness towards me. Really enjoy this accelerated growth journey. Getting to know His love for me, all over again! Will His goodness ever cease? Never!

Just wanted to make a little announcement. My friend and I are finally ready to clear stocks... yes, the little business that we ventured for a taste of entrepreneurship. Lol. Thank you! my dear friends who have supported me in the past. Really feel so blessed and loved to have your support! Now, we are clearing what's left of our limited designs protective laptop skins. It used to cost $21.90. Our clearing price: $13.90. Yup! And of course, for those who supported me in the past, on top of it, if you want to buy another design to give your laptop another personality, you get a very special discount! Disclosed to you personally only.

Do contact me if you want to brand your laptop with our uniquely fashionable and glorious christian laptop skins! Can't get them from the market out there! :) Feel free to send me a personal message of inquiry too.

the beauty exposed ;

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The meaning of favour is fully realised when you come upon a day where you seems not to experience it. After today, it dawned on me how tender the Lord has been to me for such a long time. He has been so protective, sheltering me as much as he can. Watching in delight as I totally enjoyed the favour that he lavished on me. Even as I took for granted and basked in His favour and goodness.

It was today, when I came knocking on the doors of reality, that the harshness and selfishness of people slamming doors in my face, despite the bubbly favour that was on me, really hurt and stung. And in spite of these encounters in the darkness of the lone corridors, Daddy God's gentle comfort reminded me that even if no one was willing, He will prove Himself faithful in the end. I may not see it today, but it's about deciding still to trust in His faithfulness. To know that ultimately, at the end of it all, He will come through for me. And it was as if, at that very moment, He was patting me on the head, gently saying that He was proud of me.

the beauty exposed ;

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A heart so filled with God's goodness. Failing, and learning that God's love is always there to catch me when I fall. Uplifting, trusting me still, always faithful to tell me that He loves me unconditionally, no matter what. Awesome.

The courage to dare to vision was restored during the Engage. It was all about having faith is God's goodness, really. (P.S Been busy with my daregroup's blog: A2J!

www.xanga.com/a2jesus

for our activities!)

Arrow camp was immediately the week after the Dare camp. Was tremendously blessed by the work that Daddy God was doing in me. What a fast and accelerated work. It was all about going back to the one thing needful. It was only one thing that matter. The love of God. Everything else pales in comparison. Being so soaked, day in and day out, in the presence of sweet Jesus was just so beautiful. All titles and identities that I've held on to my reins were stripped away and rediscovered anew the one identity: my identity in Christ. I am Jesus beloved, full stop. It's all about enjoying the love of God.

A fresh revelation how my life really needed the fresh word of God. Saw for myself that the word can be so gripping, yet tender. :)

Love my camp group. Thank you Jesus, for so much favour and love from them!

Recently, just started relief teaching again three days ago. It's been two years since I last stepped into the school that I came to know so many precious youths for more than 8 months. This time, was given all the upper sec normal acad and tech students. I was stunned that the favour I experienced was not just the same as two years ago, but it was even more staggering. Not only all my express ex-students remembered me, but even for those whom I did not teach before, (that is the normal acad students) there were such supernatural bonding towards me! They all knew me. And the favour. Gosh. It was so intense, that I was able to speak into their lives. And they listened.

The malays, the chinese in the normal streams, many were misguided, some were lost (without realising it), many were hoping against hope that they could get out of the vicious cycle. Some had built defenses over the years, some were cold, and many were empty. They were all searching for a Saviour. But they didn't know. I felt so much compassion. It wasn't me. It was God. And I knew that when I encouraged them, God was already doing His work in their midst. Teachers who couldn't handle their classes were telling me that their classes said they love me, remembered what I taught and wanted me to stay permanently. The teachers were amazed that such a notorious class whom everyone had already given up hope, were still able to learn. But I know the reason.

When He gave me such astounding favour, it was for a greater purpose.

the beauty exposed ;

Monday, May 19, 2008

Another semester over. I have now officially finished 2 years of Computer Engineering. Started the most tiring and infamous Semester 2 that made its name by trapping many of its victims with the tentacles that came in the name of projects that never cease to end coupled with examinations that give you a mere 10 days to prepare. The above long sentence seemed to sum it up pretty well.

And I'm glad that I came across this Semester in the beginning of this year. Especially when the word for 2008 was that it is to be the year of manifested blessings. Praise...the... Lord! The reason for the lack of life of my blog was due to my endless business.

Yet in the midst of the storm, I truely witness such blissful peace, and enjoyment that I never had before, doing the projects, going through the challenges, seeing how God delivered me, how my cries of despair ever so quickly became thanksgiving and shouts of praises. The joy that burnt in my heart as I prepared for exams, the light of revelation unveiling the darkness to reveal understanding in subjects, and realising that gone was the fear of exams, in replacement was excitement in familiarity.

As much as I can remember, I have penned down all the little blessings of God in my book of blessings. It has only been the beginning of the 5th month of this year, and already, the pages of my book has been filled. I had to find a new book full of empty pages.

I suspect I will be filling them up fast pretty soon too. Cos, this Semester break is going to be one heaven of an experience. Step into the Zone concert is coming up this Sat! Then there's Dare Engage Camp and Arrow Camp coming right up, closely behind each other too. I truely expect a harvest of testimonies to be shared in the following posts.

I love you, Daddy God. You are too good to me.

the beauty exposed ;

Sunday, December 23, 2007

When I first heard that Arrow's year end camp was going to be an Adventure Camp, I was extremely disappointed. As I was serving in Dare, we just had a Dare's Adventure Camp in June and I was so looking forward to a relaxing History Makers' camp in a hotel. After getting over my initial hesitance, I signed up for Arrow's Adventure Camp (without thinking)... and lived the remaining days in regret and dread. Just kidding... I was exaggerating...but...occassionally, I did have second thoughts about the camp.

But I have to say this. Daddy God is really more than faithful. I felt that I have risen to another level during the camp itself. On the first day, we went through training sessions which taught us what to do if there were dog/bee attack. We were taught how to read maps too and have to go through obstacles challenge. We had to go through the swinging tunnel of tyres, cross the bridge of tyres that are hanging above ground, climb up suspended nets and climb over the 'low' wall with the help of our good-natured gentleman brothers. The day ended with us planning for mission 1 where we will have to go to many different cities, Besor etc. to get allies and finally to Zion to rescue our royal King and Queen. We were to start off no later than 8am. Lights off at 12 midnight.

However, 1 hour later, we woke up at 1am to the furious and frantic banging of the doors by our trainers, shouting that we have to set off earlier than planned. Everyone rushed to dress up, get their backpacks and ran to the field. Even though everything seemed so alien to me, my cg, known as Charlie 1 for the camp, brought forth much humor to me. For example, everyone was in their full gear: shirt, trackpants, sportshoes/boots and backpag and it was a hilarious sight to see Jimmy, without any backpack... and he was just holding an empty mug. I nearly got the shock of my life when I asked him what he was doing with his mug and he answered me: " For milo." I couldn't help it. I just started laughing. The camp trainers were doing their best trying to create an atmosphere of stealth and urgency of attacking enemies in the darkness and here was our good friend with his hilarious ways. Don't get me started on his other antics. When we reached Besor and entered the gates with all the eerie lights, everyone was just silently following Coach Jo (who was upkeeping her act of a fierce and no-nonsense army commando) through the place. And from behind me, Jimmy whispered, " Hey Steven! Camera....quickly take photo! Later no more opportunity." The idea was really funny. Imagine the whole group stopping to quickly snap a group photo at 2am in the morning in the midst of enemy's territory.

All in all, the route march was one of the most memorable event of my life. How can I ever forget the 12 km walk with all the various obstacles? (keeping our balance on a swing, standing on a horizontal pole on a curved shape semi-circle, doing leopard crawl under nets to find the key to unlock the locks, being carried through holes in the net etc. ) The company was excellent, the humor, the encouragement and the drawing of strengths together in a corporate way from the Lord himself through the singing of praises above the ferocious barking of wild dogs. Jia How and Jerome, being our map-reader and pacer, led us to reach the campsite at 7a.m; we ended up being the earliest and waited for our other Charlie groups for 2 hours, of which we enjoyed our blessed nap of sleeping along the roadsite beneath the wide expanse of the blue sky. It was definitely something to be remembered for ages to come.

When the rest of the Charlies reached, we had to rush into the campsite and complete a series of obstacles and ended the day jumping into the mudpool and crossing it while holding our backpacks above our heads. We were drenched all the way down to our shoes with mud, but amazingly, I found the mudpool most refreshing. And praise be to the Lord, after lunch, we got our blessed beauty sleep from 2 to 6pm. After which, there was another fun training session which involves crazy people taking turns to run around and shout "On!". I thank God for the guys who were in such remarkably good spirits considering the fact that they have been through similar things in army before. Imagine that Issac actually took leave from army to come to this camp. Hahaha but God never shortchange His people.

That night, Coach Jo and Pastor Benjamin shared their hearts on the camp with various cgls coming forth to share their portion too. We felt so inspired to receive our portion outside our comfort zone. Joseph even declared that he was ready to uptake mission 2. After which, Sam Chan declared that mission 2 was cancelled. Unbelievably, some of us even felt the smallest tinge of disappointment. Wahaha the night ended with us breaking into our groups and share with each other. I got what I wanted from Daddy.

I knew I had to leave on the third day for Dare leaders' retreat and I wanted to have my portion before I left, and I did. I went through the most tiring yet memorable route march with my fellow comrades, and I did not miss out on the sharing, which was really awesome. It's amazing to hear how each and everyone of us received so much, just on the 2nd day of camp.

Daddy is more than faithful. Previously, during the camp, I was worried about how I was going to leave the camp (which was situated in the middle of nowhere) and make my way to YWCA, fort canning lodge. There was no other Dare leaders to go with me and no one to offer me transport. At last, I really decided that there was nothing I could do, but to really just trust in the Lord. And Daddy is true to His promises. On the night of the 2nd day, Tsu Ting came up to me, saying that she has just been invited to the retreat as well! I was amazed, cos it was truely a last minute thing for her. Not only now I have someone to go with, but transport was provided by her mum! Not just out of the campsite, but all the way from Sarimbun to YWCA! God is indeed gracious. It was totally unexpected and undeserved.

Even though, I missed the third day of fun, what with the blindfolding, the walking through dirty canals, and the anointed campfire session (which I heard that many, including guys, cried when they were touched by the Lord)... I believed I had the best of both worlds. Dare leaders' retreat was my first retreat ever and it was so anointed! I've gained much during that one day, through Pastor Daniel's sharing, and through fellowship with the other leaders. Being an armour-bearer first internalise Jonathan's vision (in this case, your leader's) and that is when we step into the role of Jonathan and become a leader to others. Foremost, the Lord prioritises ministry to Himself than ministry to others; He values our relationship with Him above all else.

On the last day, I came back to join my Charlie 1 for service at the Rock. And I guess it was because I really had such a high expectation to receive from Pastor Benjamin, that I really received such a tremendous portion. It felt so surreal to be sitting among my peers and not youths, to be receiving from Pastor Benjamin, instead of Pastor Daniel. I used to take Arrow (then known as Campus) for granted. Now, I grasped every minute of it with a hungry spirit. I love the part on memorising does not change perception. It is when you meditate, that your perception will be change. A change in perspective: from a perspective of a stumbling stone to that of a stepping stone, from a setback to a comeback, from a victim to a victor! And such a change in perception will cause the word of God to become a revelation which will then become a revolution in your life.

How do we keep seeing what God has on the inside of us? How does the spirit of wisdom and revelation open our eyes of understanding? The key to the impartation of the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that our eyes may be enlightened is that we hear... and understand. To hear with my heart is to ask the Lord: "Lord, which part of the sermon are you speaking to me? How does this apply in my life?"

In revelation, it is WHO do I say that Jesus is. It is not what others say or think of him, but it is what I have caught in my own life personally about Jesus, who is the living Son of God. When you have the consciousness that you are reading God's love letters in the Bible, you begin to have revelation. It will transform and excite you!

Worship was really different. It was just so heartfelt in the tangible presence of God. The anointing oil service was awesome. Coach Lewis prayed for me, to receive the power and love from Daddy. At the later part, Pastor Benjamin asked those who have the desire to serve in ministry to come forward. At first, I was hesitant, cos I was asking Daddy if I should go up since I'm already serving. And with such clarity, I heard this word from within: "Go." I thought I was imagining things, but then, I heard it again. So I went forward. As I was standing there, I told Daddy that I want my inner vision to be restored, I want to be used even more mightily by Daddy in the coming year, and I want His anointing so evident in my life. Just as I finished, Pastor Benjamin came to pray for me. He said one sentence: "Her gifts be awakened." And I was slain. Went down peacefully. And arose with the certainty that Daddy loves me. I have an almighty God on my side. Who will be against me? No one.

I truely enjoyed camp this year. Really had a very different experience from last year and all the camps combined. I know why... because our God is so good, that it just gets better and better each year :) Praise Daddy! More to come, amen!

the beauty exposed ;

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Dear Daddy God... You have really been so good to me. So much favour, so much grace... love that was demonstrated through many different people in different walks of life, just for me... countless episodes of you telling me that you love me, in so many ways... some that my eyes were opened to, and some, that I've never realised... even up to now.

It's approaching the end of the year soon...and if I were to look back... with a heart of thanksgiving, it will definitely take hours.. or even days to recount your fingerprints on my journey in life in this year. 2007 definitely has been a year of new beginnings. So many things to share... and I'm really at loss at where to start. Will have to take time to really pen down all that is in my heart... but for now...

I just want to thank everyone of you... who has blessed me with their friendship and presence, some way or another. Yesterday was 15th Dec, my birthday. My heart is just so filled to the brim with Daddy's love... and to all those who contributed in His plan for me... a BIG THANK YOU to everyone!!!!

For the first time in my life... my birthday was celebrated 7 times. The number of perfection. And every one of them bore special memories for me. The first was actually celebrated on the 25th Nov. It was the most hilarious celebration. Due to some funny mistake in the database, the Almighties (the sec 2 Dare leaders) thought that my birthday was on the 15th Nov instead... I was just having an innocent dinner with the group and Coach Hee Jhun was classic. He kept on asking (with this hugely suspicious smile) if this month was a special month for me. I was confused... but could not figure out where he was heading to. And to my utter shock, I heard someone coming from behind me with a cake and everyone just started bursting out into a joyful birthday song for me. The only thing was...it was the wrong month. After much tears of laughter... I cut the cake with the warm feeling of Daddy's love for me. Felt tremendously blessed. God indeed has a sense of humor.

The 2nd time they got it correct. After Dare service, we had a meeting cum fellowship session at Gloria's Jean which ended at... 1am! LOL. I went to the ladies and came back sooner than the rest expected. I saw their shocked faces, but didnt think much of it because at the same moment, someone at the other end of the table was asking for Gideon. Everyone including me, turned our head to his direction. At that very same moment, we saw the waitress handing a lighter and a candle to Gideon. There was a strange silence at the table. Before we could even react, Gideon came back to our table, sat across me, without realising that anything was amiss, or that I was back from the ladies...he asked nonchalantly where to place the candle. And then he looked at me. And went OHHH NO! Haha, and no one could keep in their laughter anymore. The entire table roared with laughter. Coach HJ was laughing the hardest... everyone was just shaking.... nonetheless, the celebration was another classic.

But just felt so warmed by my endearing Almighties leaders. Felt so loved by Daddy through each and every one of them. What a sweet and precious family.

Ahh... Shanthi, Peixian and Evangeline were really sweet too. Together with my daregroup, A2J, they collaborated another celebration during dinner at Millenia Walk foodcourt with the dare youths. It was so heartwarming to see my own daregroup (A2J), ex-dg (Zoefied1) and even Peixian's and Evan's dg rushing over to just sing me a birthday song and bless me. I was really stunned and was in a state of bliss. It was really amazing how that day turned out. In the morning, I was just telling Daddy that how I'm going to spend my birthday serving Him in Dare...but Daddy just made it such a special day in my honour. All glory to God...the best Dad in the world.

And the celebration didn't just end on Saturday. I thought that I was going to meet my CGL, Tim Ang, for just a short moment after 3rd service today... maybe to collect a card of well-wishes from my cg members. But what I really didn't expect, was that my entire cg pre-planned a surprise. I was in the arcade watching my youths have a game or two. And behold, while being distracted by Joseph and Pris, my cg came into the arcade with a beautifully lit up cake and a jar of blessings. It was another hilarious episodes because picture this... in the midst of all the noise of the arcade environment, they had to sing an extremely loud birthday song in order to be heard. Seeing my beloved NTU-C cg all gathered in that arcade.... gosh... I just felt so tremendously loved, blessed, and privileged.

Lord, I thank you for all these precious people. Who made time to be such a blessing to me, to demonstrate such love. It's truely by your grace because I know that I'm deserving. All of them are your birthday gift to me. And I thank you for that.

Thank you Almighties. For your open arms. For your love. For everything. You guys rock as my 2nd family!!
Thank you A2J -> I feel so blessed to be spending my birthday with you guys. I thank God for you guys, from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you Dare youths & Zoefied1, for the songs, for your hugs, your blessings, and your presence. Special thanks to Rachel, Charmaine and Emmeline, for your gift of love.
Thank you Edmund and Nicholas, for always addressing me as your beloved da jie, and for coming all the way to Suntec to join me for Dare service. Felt so touched by your card and your awesome gift.
Thank you NTU-C!!! Thank you Tim, Yuan Zhen, Pris, Charlene, Justina, Joseph, Hansel, Issac, Gerard, (did I miss out anyone? Wahaha if I did, then you know it's you that I wanna thank you too!!) Thank you beloveds. For being an awesome bunch of buddies whom I enjoy being with, and receiving from each and everyone of you guys.
Thank you, to everyone who sent me greetings. (And that includes, Pris, Jo, Ruth...) Thank you Pammie, for your precious heart, for organising a dinner for me tomorrow. Thank you for your time and love.
And last but not least, a big thank you to my family. For being so supportive, and understanding. Thank you for your gifts, prayers, and precious time spent together to watch a birthday movie with me, even though it was 1a.m when I came back from my Friday dinner. Knowing that I will be out the whole Saturday, you guys supported me and loved me. Thank you.

I love everyone of you. Thank you Daddy, for every single one of them. Thank you for my blessing. :) With a heart overflowing with love, joy and peace, I shall end here today. Praise you Jesus!

the beauty exposed ;