It was dark. And she was so scared. It was after a long moment that she dared to approach the windows... but the blinds, they hid the windows from her reach, intimidating her with their forbidden mystery. She knows not what lies behind the blinds, nor what fortunes or misfortunes lies beyond those windows if opened. All her life, her greatest desire had been to break free of this bondage... but she could not. It was beyond her ability to open those windows. Thus was such a cruel life she led, never venturing beyond the windows, never lifting a finger to attempt to open the windows. The question is:
did she dare to do so now?
She did not dare.
With a heart's cry, she called out for Jesus. And He came. Lifted her up in his arms, opened the window and soared out... towards the sun.
2006 - Year of Acceleration
Looking back, I realised that I have crossed many milestones. It was only a year ago when I was so filled with insecurities. I was shy, tremendously conscious and affected by what people thought of me. It was a horrible bondage, to be tied to people's view of your character. Having a low self-esteem prevented me from truely enjoying life. One can never fully go out with
friends and just have real fun. No. A person who is conscious of oneself will always be dwelling on imaginary scenarios that seemed to be happening but in actual fact, unrealistic. I wanted to be set free! It was my prayer to the Lord.
It starts with heart transformation, then behaviour modification.
A prayer was all it took.
And the breakthrough came.
In the form of many journeys; challenges faced that seemed to be giants actually were bread.
I recall all the journeys that took me across the year 2006.
becoming a relief teacher to 7 classes for 7 months,
How can someone who was so shy and total lacking in self-confidence able to teach a class of 40 kids and even enjoy it so thoroughly?
It can only be God.
being involved in the church's Psalmist Group where I learn key values about worship & where my desire to play a guitar came to reality,
How can someone who dislikes making new friends able to go join a new group where the entire group are from another University?
It can only be God.
serving in Campus Creative Unit Dance Ministry & performing hip-hop contemporary dance during Praise&Worship concert at Fort Canning Park,
How can someone with so much insecurities able to dance hip-hop on stage? Up to this day, I remain amazed.
It can only be God.
to serving in DARE Ministry during EJ Camp2...
Excuse me, but Dare Ministry is the super ra-ra, enthusiastic, fun-loving youth ministry...
and you are the boring person who likes to stay home and slack...
how can you survive down there?
Haha! God raised me to a higher level! Without realising it, I have changed.
From GLORY to GLORY.
I was a new ME. God had been there all the while,
right beside me. Watching over me, guiding me, and loving me.
He had been my strength, providing me with the desire to change, to get involved, and then giving me the ability!
I had been a christian since I was little. And I have struggled with all these insecurities while growing up. There's this desire to serve. But... just never really got to it. Was lazy and scared of commitment. But I have learnt not to despise the desire. No matter how small it is. Cos' God works by planting a desire in my heart, and sometimes I doubt if it's really God... cos I do not have the ability to fulfill my own desire! And then he provides the ability. Isn't God amazing? He uses my own weakness to magnify Him! Gosh. It's really humbling to the soul. I mean... I have so many weaknesses. And yet He chose me, to be part of His great plans. Wow. I repeat, wow.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy.
But each time you step out, let God hold on to your hand, and you will
To A Higher Level.
Indeed 2006 has been a year of acceleration, and dreams fulfilled.
I never believed. Because I could not believe that it was that easy.
Just ASK God,
and you will receive.
There's nothing that I had to do. All I learnt during this journey was to let go,
and let God.